Recently, I read an article in The Epoch Times, where the author, Con Chapman, was describing his experience and roles as the father of the groom at his son’s wedding. As the wedding planning ensued, he wondered what exactly it is that the father of the groom does.

Well, it seems as though there is the traditional role of making a toast at the rehearsal dinner and according to Chapman, being a “doubly subordinated character in the drama…” because the wedding is obviously about the bride and not the groom, right?

Con, we respectfully disagree.

We believe there is always a time and place for tradition, and in the past weddings have been mostly about “the bride,” but why can’t or shouldn’t they be about the couple, the love they share, and the family and friends that bind their love together? And who isn’t to say that a groom hasn’t dreamt about his wedding day just as much as the bride?

By the end of the article, Mr. Chapman was finally directed by his wife to support his son by also creating a song list for the rehearsal dinner. When he asked his son and his fiancé if they had any song requests, his son replied, “Uh, thanks, dad, but we’re all set.”

After all of Chapman’s worries and concerns over his position as the father of the groom, he ended up being relieved of his duties. But why not give family members supportive roles for your wedding day?

Here is a Solution…

So, we have decided to take some of our experience and the inspiration from our own brides and grooms and share a list of supportive roles that your family or friends can help you with at your wedding if you are interested in their help of course! Regardless if you are a bride or a groom, you don’t have to do this alone and if your family members are willing and able (and you can trust that with the task) we hope you find some of these suggestions useful!

Supportive roles can be given to any family member or friend and can be interchangeable depending on your own circumstances and traditions. We have seen fathers of the bride go dress shopping, brothers of the bride completely plan the cocktail hour, and mothers of the groom give beautiful toasts and make or financially cover the cake! Whatever works for you and your family members work for us, so here is a generic checklist of suggestions that don’t conform to specific traditions.

20 Ways Your Family or Friends Can Support You During Your Wedding

1. Host a Congratulatory Dinner or Engagement Party
2. Go Wedding Dress Shopping – If Asked
3. Scout Wedding Venues
4. Help Make the Guest List – When Asked
5. Plan & Host the Rehearsal Dinner
6. Assist in Planning & Financially Supporting the Bridal Shower
7. Financially Support the Couple in ANY way
8. Create a Playlist for the Rehearsal Dinner
9. Officiate the Ceremony
10. Escort Guests to their Ceremony Seats
11. Help The Guys Put on Their Boutonnieres
12. Be the “GO TO” on the Wedding Day
    • Run Errands
    • Communicate with the Planner or Coordinator
    • Have Details Ready for Photographer & Dress Hanging Outside of the Bag on a Wooden Hanger
13. Reading at the Ceremony
14. Sing A Song or Perform Something Special
15. Light Candles
16. Processional Escort: Escort Special Family Members and Guests from the Ceremony
17. Marriage License Witness
18. Share a Special Dance
19. Be the Hype:
    • Get family and friends out on the dance floor
    • Go table to table and encourage guests to find their dollars for the apron dance
    • Cheer and Lift the energy, if ever needed
20. Help the Bride and Groom with Thank-You’s After the Shower/Wedding

Need a few more blog posts for your wedding day? Check the ones below!

The Importance of Having a First Look

Questions You Should Actually Ask Your Wedding Photographer

Professional Input for Your Wedding Day Timeline

What to Do With Your Engagement Photographs

Tips for A Beautiful Wedding Gallery